For some, giving a good blowjob is as natural as breathing air. For others, it’s not so easy. Many men feel self-conscious when they give head, because they think that either 1) they don’t know how to make myself come or 2) I use my hands instead of my mouth.

Neither option is helpful! You should always enjoy what you are doing, no matter your end result. My advice is to relax and embrace the experience.

Come clean with yourself and ask for help if needed. Know that just because you do NOT know something does not mean you can’t learn it.

There is a right way and a wrong way to perform oral sex, and the “right” way is actually pretty simple. Though more intimate, in actuality, it’s all about being passionate and knowing your purpose.

Put this into practice and watch your performance improve from focusing on feelings rather than skills.

That said, here’s how to give a blow job with confidence.

Use your lips, mouth, and tongue

For oral sex, or any kind of sexuality involving mouths, tongues are an extremely important part.

Not only can they bring you pleasure, but them too! Make sure you know how to treat yours well.

The way men interact with their genitals is very different from women’s behaviors around genital stimulation. While women use more subtle techniques such as breathing or visualizing, most people tend to use one of two types of kisses/licks-the scrunching up of the nose and cheeks or the pressing of the face between the legs.

Some people may hold more visceral responses than others to these actions. These reactions depend on what each person has been taught about body image and sexual desire.

It is also dependent on which parts of the brain have been stimulated. There’s not just one area of the brain that controls bodily function and feeling; every region connects to several other regions to form individual perceptions.

Know your partner

This is maybe the most important thing to remember about giving a great blowjob. You need to understand your partner’s likes and dislikes, along with their sense of humor.

If you don’t know for sure, ask them! And if something makes them uncomfortable, try to change it. It doesn’t make things better, but sometimes habits are hard to break.

Don’t assume anything – people have different tastes, so what works for one guy might not work for another.

Also, this goes without saying, but be respectful. Of yourself and others.

If you can keep count, that means everything. Now let’s get back to the how-to part.

Know your own body

You can give great head, whether or not you’re experienced at it. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with yourself.

You don’t want to get anyone else’s blood (or other fluids) all over you. Also, some people have bodies that are naturally more skilled at giving oral sex than others.

If you feel tight in certain places and loose in others, you may not be using your mouth how it was intended to be used. Make sure you’re comfortable both physically and emotionally before trying something like this.

It’s better to take your time and do it comfortably then hurry up and hurt yourself or someone else.

Know your partner’s preferences

It’s very important to prepare yourself for how their experience may differ from yours.

Many people don’t realize that there are different types of orgasm for men and women. Women can generally be more focused or less dependent on sex, while men can either be more passive or more active.

There are no right or wrong ways to have sex. We all enjoy it in our own way. If one person is primarily receptive, then both partners should make sure they are also enjoying themselves.

If you want your lover to reach an orgasm, you need to understand them and their sexual style. Just because most people perform better when having sex does not mean that everyone else enjoys it.

Your partner shouldn’t feel like they have to put effort into having an orgasm, otherwise it won’t happen. Letting someone know about any health conditions or preferences is considered to be good etiquette.

Partners should never assume that each other find vaginas painful or uncomfortable to play with during oral sex. People of all genders deserve love and respect.”

Do your homework

You can’t give a good blowjob if you don’t know how to perform oral sex. In fact, performing oral sex is one of the most intimate things two people can do.

It takes a lot more fun and intimacy to stick it out for an hour than to have quick intercourse. Oral sex is about connection and respect. It’s not just about having orgasms.

Making time to enjoy each other’s bodies through kissing and touching is important, as are trust and faith in each other’s ability to meet your needs.

If either person wants something that the other does not want, they should say so. Some people might be nervous or feel uncomfortable talking about what they want, but conversation is a great way to solve this.

Having a partner who is willing to tell you what he or she wants is incredibly sexy. They will let you know when you fail to satisfy them and when you do please them.

Being honest with each other is key to connecting. Men, women, those in relationships, singles; everyone is different. What feels comfortable for one may not feel comfortable for the other.

What works for someone else may not work for the both of you. Honesty is key to a healthy relationship.

Talk about it

When you’re ready to move forward, don’t be afraid to talk with your partner about what you want. It is actually very common for women to feel nervous when they are going down on a woman.

Most men have been taught that boys do not like girls going down on them, as far back as college. A lot of guys think that if a girl goes down on him, he will seem undesirable or unappealing.

They haven’t been told that some guys prefer being kissed by their girlfriends first or no longer at all.

Some guys believe that oral sex means they have to perform actions and sensations that make them dissatisfied. Most girls know this already; most just don’t tell anyone, including themselves.

But how can you change this habit? There are two ways to achieve this. The first is by making out twice before making the effort to give her the perfect blowjob.

Make sure you don’t rush into giving her everything – even stuff yourself. This way she feels more satisfied and loves it more.