Developing a sense of sexuality is a part of most people’s journeys. Some people refer to this as finding your sex-uality, getting in touch with your sexual needs, desires, and expression.
Sexuality is much more than just sexual activity. It is an overall sense of pleasure and desire that can be directed towards many different things. For some people, sexuality is focused more on the physical side, for others it is more emotional or spiritual.
And while sexual orientation is becoming more and more accepted, there are no strict lines of where someone falls in terms of their sexuality. Someone can be very sexually fluid and relate to both sides of the spectrum or find themselves somewhere in the middle.
As you learn to cultivate your sexuality, you will find that it helps you to connect with yourself and others. You may discover new ways to feel pleasure or decrease pain depending on what kind of therapy you are seeking out.
Try new things
Experimenting with new things is a great way to boost your confidence and explore new parts of your sensual self. If you have never tried yoga, it is a great time to try it!
Many people find yoga to be relaxing and a good way to work your body while being in touch with your mind. You can try a few beginner poses or classes to see if it fits you.
If you have never tried wearing makeup, then now is the time to learn. There are many YouTube videos that teach how to apply makeup so you can learn by watching some of these videos and using cheap supplies to practice.
Alternatively, you can buy yourself some makeup brushes and buy vegan makeup that is non-toxic so that you can use it later on if you decide to drop the facade and become fully yours.
Talk to people about what brings you pleasure
Developing a sense of pleasure and arousal is an everyday activity that you should devote time to. You should talk to people about what brings you enjoyment and pleasure, as well as yourself.
Do this with your partner(s) during sex, or with your friends during a group chat. It can be hard to start such a conversation, but it pays off in the end.
By discussing sex with you partner(s) you can discover new things about each other and yourself. You may even find new ways to enjoy each other and self-pleasure.
Group chats are an easy way to connect with other people about sex as well as create a network of support for sexual issues. By connecting with people on a personal level, you may even help them gain confidence in their own sexuality.
Sexuality is a part of us that we should not be afraid to talk about. Doing so only promotes more awareness and acceptance of oneself and others.
Explore your body
One way to become more aware of your body is to explore your body through touch. This can be done by yourself or with a partner.
For example, try masturbating to learn how to pleasure yourself. You can also try rubbing your hands across various parts of your body to see how much pressure you like and what makes you feel good.
Or, have a sexual partner massage you to see what you like. Give each other enough time to learn the details of each other’s bodies and how to make each other feel good.
Overall, the idea is to learn more about your body and what feels good by touching yourself and being touched by others.
However you choose to do it, learning how to connect with your sensuality requires learning more about your body.
Explore your mind
Being in touch with your sexuality and sensuality means exploring your mind and what turns you on.
If you are not in touch with your sexuality, then you are not fully aware of your desires, wants, and needs in this area. This can lead to difficulty connecting with yourself and others in this area of life.
Sensuality is much more than just physical arousal. It’s about enjoying all areas of life and being appreciative of them. It’s about being in tune with your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings.
Many people link sensuality only to sex but it goes far beyond that. There are many ways to be sensual that do not involve any sort of physical stimulation or sex play. Even things like painting or gardening can be very sensual.
To connect with your inner sense of sensuality, try taking some time to notice the things that make you feel relaxed, excited, or appreciative—and how these feelings affect your mood and energy level.
Connect with friends who share your interests
A friend can be a great source of inspiration. You can share ideas with each other and give each other’s ideas credit when you use them.
Friends can also encourage you when you are feeling down or lack confidence in yourself. Friends are also a source of motivation for you, to keep going when you feel like giving up.
Having friends that know about your sexuality and are supportive of it is also important. You should feel comfortable talking to them about issues related to your sexuality.
Friends can also help you explore your sexuality by joining you for sex education events or telling you about new places to go for sex-related activities. They can also support you if you experience sexual discrimination or violence, by listening to you and helping you find solutions.
Perhaps the most important thing about having friends is that they help make your life more fun, which helps boost your sensuality.
Trust your instincts
Having a sensual experience means being in touch with your body, your self, and the world around you. It means knowing what feels good to you and what you want to experience.
You should also be aware of how others are feeling, as well as how you are feeling. This is called interoceptive awareness.
Dr. Alexander Spiegel is a psychologist who studies interoception. He defines it as “the inner sense of bodily changes that provide information about the physiological status of the body.” In other words, it’s your ability to recognize what’s happening inside your body and outside influences that affect that change. It includes factors like sweat, heart rate, breathing rate, and feeling of pleasure or pain.
Being sensual doesn’t mean being sexually explicit – but sometimes sex can help us feel more in touch with our bodies and ourselves. If you’re feeling uncomfortable or insecure, try experimenting with yourself before anyone else gets involved.
Pay attention to your feelings
In fact, paying attention to your feelings is the starting point for developing a stronger sense of self and sexual identity.
As children, we are taught not to pay attention to our feelings. We’re encouraged to ignore our internal experience and instead focus on external things such as other people, what they say and do, material things, and so on.
This sort of conditioning begins early. For example, when you were a child you most likely played with toys that involved some element of competition or conquest. You were rewarded for winning or achieving something external, like a victory flag or higher status among playmates.
But as you grew up, this emphasis on external focus only intensified. You were encouraged to work hard at school or work in order to achieve success and reward in the form of money and recognition.
Conscious sexual self-awareness requires paying attention to your internal experience – your emotions, thoughts, physical sensations (like arousal), and so on.
Ask yourself what feels good?
Developing a sense of what feels good is an important part of your sexual experience. Experiment with different touches and areas of your body to find what pleasures you.
Touch yourself in playful ways and try to enjoy it, no matter how long it takes you to feel anything. Pay attention to the changes in your body, even if you don’t feel any pleasure right away.
Learn about the various erogenous zones on your body and explore them with gentle touch. Find out what places make you feel good and enjoy exploring them.
For example, some people don’t feel much in the way of sensation in their genitals until they’re very aroused, so there’s no harm in taking your time to get there. Other people find that more indirect touch (such as around the hips or inside the thighs) feels better than direct touch on the genitals.